Kim and Kanye — A Perfect Fantasy Gone Wrong
I’m sad. Not because I have an affinity for Kim Kardashian or Kanye West, because I don’t — but because I don’t like divorce. I don’t like the way it makes me feel even if I don’t know the people involved. Kim and Kanye have four kids and that’s a lot of people that hang in the balance of their decisions. I know that for some couples divorce is inevitable, but I always wonder did they try everything?
I’ve never been married, but I know that marriage isn’t easy. I’ve been in relationships, I’ve seen marriages up close and I know for sure that it takes much more than love. Two humans joining their lives together with all of their baggage, trauma, flaws, idiosyncrasies, bad habits, etc. is often a recipe for disaster. There’s no surprise that the divorce rate in the U.S. is 50 percent, according to the American Psychological Association. Marriage is hard and two people being on the same page about everything is nearly impossible.
But when you find someone you’re in sync with for the majority of those pages you take the leap of faith and you tie the knot. For better or worse. For richer or for poorer. In sickness and in health. To love and to cherish. Till death do us part. I do. That’s a serious declaration to make to another human being and most people go into it knowing they’ll never live up to such a charge, but they jump anyway.
No one imagines when they get married that life will happen. They never think that their spouse will lose their job, get sick, struggle with their mental health or even get killed. No one assumes the worst because we all want to believe in something. And we figure, hey bad things may happen, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.
Kim and Kanye’s story begins like most romances. Girl meets boy, girl, perfect woman. As a former super fan of Kanye West, I know all about his long pining over his soon-to-be ex-wife. Kanye served as the backdrop to great moments of my life growing up. He came out with his debut album in 2004 the same time I was chartering into adolescence. In a way I feel like I grew up with him. And inevitably I grew out of him.
Back in 2009, paparazzi caught thee it girl of the time Paris Hilton walking around the beaches of Australia with the then-unknown Kim Kardashian. The pictures were captivating because of the gigantic Louis Vuitton Monogram Miroir Alma bags. The duo flicked it up in their bathing suits and cover-ups as the paps chased them around town. It was these photos of Kim Kardashian that planted the seed in Kanye’s head. In an interview, he recalled the moment seeing the photos and he was like, “Wow! Who is that? That’s my dream girl.”
If you know Kanye, he will stop at nothing to get what he wants — and that’s what he did. He eventually connected with Kim, but a relationship didn’t mature. He was with his fiancé designer Alexis Phifer at the time and Kim with NFL Running Back Reggie Bush. However, throughout Kim and Kanye’s many relationships with other people they kept in contact — at hotels [shout out to Consequence] sexting [shout out to Amber Rose] and anytime they could like at photoshoots where Kanye would show up to support Kim ya know as a platonic “friend.”
In 2011, Kim filed for divorce from now-former NBA player Kris Humphries after 72 days of marriage. A few months later, the photos began circulating of Kim and Kanye. Some were surprised I was not. I actually liked the two of them together. I knew of the history and I like many celebrity writers predicted the two would marry and have children and that they did. By the end of 2012, Kim announced her pregnancy with their daughter North. A wedding soon followed and all was well in superstar, A-list, reality tv coupledom.
In the years to follow, Kanye fell off musically. Granted it happens. Hip hop is a young man’s game and the generation of young people like myself who grew up on Kanye was now grown. A new wave of kids controlled the radio and people like Travis Scott were now “dad.” But not being so hot in music didn’t slow Mr. West down, after all his fashion influence was undoubtedly growing: the sneakers, fashion line, opulent fashion shows. And then his family: the kids and his wife. The wife that he idolized, his “dream girl” surely was enough to keep his belly full and content. Or was it?
In the past couple of years’ talks began to circulate about Kanye and mental illness. At the time and even now I sort of feel like it’s bullshit. Because when did all of this happen? Endorsing Donald Trump, Twitter rants, public emotional breakdowns oh and running for president had many people on their #prayforKanye but I was side-eyeing it all. I loved this man and his music once upon a time. I watched his career so closely, I mean as close as I could as a fan and now all of a sudden he has mental issues? When did all of this happen? I began to think back to the infamous “Beyonce had the greatest video of all time!” Taylor Swift interruption at the VMAs. I personally thought it was funny and I agreed with him. People of course were calling him a lunatic and disparaging names, but I thought to hell with them. He spoke the truth. I love Kanye.
But looking back maybe I was wrong. Maybe whatever “it” is was present then. Although I don’t like divorce, I’m also not in la-la land. Divorce is necessary in many cases. You can’t love a person through things they don’t want to fix. You can’t ignore or get over physical or verbal abuse. You can’t stay in a situation that has the potential to kill you spiritually or literally.
I’m not advocating for people to be unhappy. But in a perfect world people would stay together celebrity status or not. In a perfect world unions with children would stay intact. However, that’s not realistic or real. Like Kanye is experiencing with Kim our perfect fantasies are just that — fantasies.
S-Note: Kim filed for divorce during Mercury Retrograde. This “love” story isn’t over.
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